Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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