make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
