I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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