Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
