I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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