Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
