Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
