Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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