Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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