We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize