Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
