You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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