I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize