found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
