Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
