i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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