I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
