I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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