Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
