u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
