WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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