You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
