found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
