I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
