i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
