so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
