Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
