idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
