i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
