I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
