I hate your face
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Randomize
