Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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