i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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