well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
