I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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