Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
