we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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