I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
