Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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