i would punch a child for taco bell
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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