just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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