would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
