i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have post one night stand depression
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