Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
