Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
