so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
