Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
