scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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