community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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