Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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