Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
