Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
