This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize