You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
