you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
