Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Moan for me like Helen Keller
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
