just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am spending my child support on dildos
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
