this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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