There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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