There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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