dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
