you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
