so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
where does the pee come out of this thing
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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