Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
