I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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