My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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