Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
