I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
