During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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