Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
